[God, look at them. They were like a self perpetuating circle of smiles, working off one another every time one so much as caught the eye of the other.
Fraser was misbehaving- that's what all this breaking into suites and carving wooden dicks was about- and Ray couldn't help but feel a deep appreciation for it. It's not exactly a rarity, not since Kowalski's been around anyway, but he feels like he's one of the only ones who ever actually understands what he's seeing. Ray was that guy, that guy who stood in a room full of people and was the only one laughing to himself as Fraser says something so ridiculously smug and yet so overly polite that no one else knows what's going on. Ray's that one in a thousand that hears Fraser talk about wolf packs or caribou herds or Inuit tales or weird ass Canadian laws to his superior and hears 'dear sir, you're a fucking moron' underneath all the civility and faux-respect. He gets Fraser. He likes to think he gets Fraser more than anyone else out there. And he's pretty certain Fraser gets him too, that the Canadian understands the random rants and the bursts of anger and all the times he's played it dumb for the sake of luring people into a false sense of security. While Fraser always played it straight and smart, Kowalski played it loose and dumb. If that didn't confuse crooks, then nothing would.]
Yeah. [He eventually agrees, half-hearted and just starting to let that amusement fade as he stares thoughtfully at that wooden carving. What a thing to stare at, but it's oddly calming to watch while his mind drifts like snow from one memory to the next. They were memories he'd never forget. Even the ones of pain, annoyance and negativity still settling warmly into the recesses of his thoughts because of Fraser. Fraser was there even at the hardest times, dealing with Ray's outbursts and sulking and everything in between, and that's more than can be said for everyone else in Ray's life. Even Stella cleared out the second his temper flared.]
Nah. Not champagne.
[What were feels? They're so hard to understand or express.]
I mean this. You and me and uh- [Wooden dicks? No. That's not right. Although it does keep springing to mind the second he looks back at it.] -the uh. The adventures. And not adventures. I mean just us against the world, y'know? I guess I uh. Heh.
[One day he might learn to speak English. One day. Deep breath.]
I just. You didn't have to do this today, Fraser. You coulda spent that time with Vecchio, done all the photos and gone on to the reception and do your dumb speech without ever looking back my way. But you didn't. You come up here and carve huge dicks and drink champagne that ain't even yours. I appreciate it. Like. Really. I do. You're the only guy that's been there for me through it all, through thick and thin. And yeah we have our fallin' outs and sure I mighta wanted to sock you more times than I ever got to, but you still stick around. I guess I look around here and all I see is a life I never wanted, and I guess maybe it's a good thing that me and Stella didn't stick it out, because then I think of Franklin and Canada and I think 'hey, that life wasn't so bad. Maybe you had somethin' there, Kowalski.'
[He's not even sure what point he's trying to make, like his mouth is running faster than his thoughts are, but he kind of likes where it's going.]
no subject
Fraser was misbehaving- that's what all this breaking into suites and carving wooden dicks was about- and Ray couldn't help but feel a deep appreciation for it. It's not exactly a rarity, not since Kowalski's been around anyway, but he feels like he's one of the only ones who ever actually understands what he's seeing. Ray was that guy, that guy who stood in a room full of people and was the only one laughing to himself as Fraser says something so ridiculously smug and yet so overly polite that no one else knows what's going on. Ray's that one in a thousand that hears Fraser talk about wolf packs or caribou herds or Inuit tales or weird ass Canadian laws to his superior and hears 'dear sir, you're a fucking moron' underneath all the civility and faux-respect. He gets Fraser. He likes to think he gets Fraser more than anyone else out there. And he's pretty certain Fraser gets him too, that the Canadian understands the random rants and the bursts of anger and all the times he's played it dumb for the sake of luring people into a false sense of security. While Fraser always played it straight and smart, Kowalski played it loose and dumb. If that didn't confuse crooks, then nothing would.]
Yeah. [He eventually agrees, half-hearted and just starting to let that amusement fade as he stares thoughtfully at that wooden carving. What a thing to stare at, but it's oddly calming to watch while his mind drifts like snow from one memory to the next. They were memories he'd never forget. Even the ones of pain, annoyance and negativity still settling warmly into the recesses of his thoughts because of Fraser. Fraser was there even at the hardest times, dealing with Ray's outbursts and sulking and everything in between, and that's more than can be said for everyone else in Ray's life. Even Stella cleared out the second his temper flared.]
Nah. Not champagne.
[What were feels? They're so hard to understand or express.]
I mean this. You and me and uh- [Wooden dicks? No. That's not right. Although it does keep springing to mind the second he looks back at it.] -the uh. The adventures. And not adventures. I mean just us against the world, y'know? I guess I uh. Heh.
[One day he might learn to speak English. One day. Deep breath.]
I just. You didn't have to do this today, Fraser. You coulda spent that time with Vecchio, done all the photos and gone on to the reception and do your dumb speech without ever looking back my way. But you didn't. You come up here and carve huge dicks and drink champagne that ain't even yours. I appreciate it. Like. Really. I do. You're the only guy that's been there for me through it all, through thick and thin. And yeah we have our fallin' outs and sure I mighta wanted to sock you more times than I ever got to, but you still stick around. I guess I look around here and all I see is a life I never wanted, and I guess maybe it's a good thing that me and Stella didn't stick it out, because then I think of Franklin and Canada and I think 'hey, that life wasn't so bad. Maybe you had somethin' there, Kowalski.'
[He's not even sure what point he's trying to make, like his mouth is running faster than his thoughts are, but he kind of likes where it's going.]