[Kowalski's right there with Vecchio, matching the bristling, macho act with his own, rolling his shoulders and hitching up his hands to hold loose fists in front of him, aggressive and alert like he's ready to start a brawl at any second. He would. He'd quite happily take a swing at Vecchio for the sake of cover up, and for the sake of punching that Italian bastard, floor him and get on top of him and...
Wait.
No.
That's what got them there in the first place and that's exactly why Fraser is reprimanding the two of them about lying and buddies and. And. Fuck. The damn Mountie is far too good at this guilt trip thing, far too good. Part of Kowalski is ready to break down right then and there and confess to every single detail. Who were they even kidding? Fraser surely knew, that's what he was talking about, right? Even if he didn't know, he'd work it out soon enough and then it'd be even worse. They'd have been lying to him for however long it took and he wouldn't look at them for days or even weeks. Ray knows how the silent treatment goes and he hates it. He doesn't want to be the one stuck at the receiving end of it.
Vecchio was fine. The smug bastard was set up for retirement anyway. Kowalski was the one that still had to deal with Fraser in a working capacity and he'd be the one left with the brunt of disappointment and silence and constant guilt trips. Benton didn't need to speak to make Ray feel like total shit. It'd be worse than the time he'd punched the Canadian.]
It's not buddies. [He mumbles, gaze flicking only briefly to Fraser before glaring back at Vecchio once again, fists still raised but far weaker now, like a boxer in the ring who's taken one too many hits and struggling to keep his guard up. But he keeps that look on Ray like he's daring him, daring him to say something or daring him to shut the fuck up. He's not sure which. He doesn't even know himself which would be better. It's difficult to decide whether he can live with a lifetime of pouting Mountie for the sake of a few kept secrets.]
no subject
Wait.
No.
That's what got them there in the first place and that's exactly why Fraser is reprimanding the two of them about lying and buddies and. And. Fuck. The damn Mountie is far too good at this guilt trip thing, far too good. Part of Kowalski is ready to break down right then and there and confess to every single detail. Who were they even kidding? Fraser surely knew, that's what he was talking about, right? Even if he didn't know, he'd work it out soon enough and then it'd be even worse. They'd have been lying to him for however long it took and he wouldn't look at them for days or even weeks. Ray knows how the silent treatment goes and he hates it. He doesn't want to be the one stuck at the receiving end of it.
Vecchio was fine. The smug bastard was set up for retirement anyway. Kowalski was the one that still had to deal with Fraser in a working capacity and he'd be the one left with the brunt of disappointment and silence and constant guilt trips. Benton didn't need to speak to make Ray feel like total shit. It'd be worse than the time he'd punched the Canadian.]
It's not buddies. [He mumbles, gaze flicking only briefly to Fraser before glaring back at Vecchio once again, fists still raised but far weaker now, like a boxer in the ring who's taken one too many hits and struggling to keep his guard up. But he keeps that look on Ray like he's daring him, daring him to say something or daring him to shut the fuck up. He's not sure which. He doesn't even know himself which would be better. It's difficult to decide whether he can live with a lifetime of pouting Mountie for the sake of a few kept secrets.]