[ For a moment suspended on thin air Fraser thinks Ray is going to change his mind; is going to realise that he's just too drunk, too insensible to make a decision as important as this one. He feels his heart leap in his chest, and doesn't let himself give any more space for hope or terror, because Ray only pauses for the briefest moment before he speaks again.
He licked his lips again, then ducked his head forward, finding Ray's gaze, because his partner was no longer looking at him any more. Maybe he was afraid, or ashamed, Fraser didn't know, but it seemed to him that Ray was like the child who wanted to go to Disneyworld who'd said their piece and was now pretending that it was less of a big deal than he was making out for it to be.
But it was a big deal. It was everything Fraser had wanted since they'd slept on that cliffside together. Which was insane, because Ray had almost died, but...but it had somehow felt right. Survival and fear and them against the world. That was what he wanted. It was the only way to live. And yes, it was possible to have that in Chicago, but...but Ray loved it too. Ray loved climbing mountains, and Ray loved coming back down them again. He loved the dogsled, which was like driving a car with thirty two wheels, and he loved the snowmobile, which was like a motorbike that occasionally went sidewards.
Ray loved the north, with all its lifethreatening horrors. He loved it because of them, or despite them, Fraser didn't know, and maybe that was what drew Fraser to Ray himself--love me, love my wilderness.
He raised his hand from Ray's knee, but only to pat it once, holding it down again. ]
If Chicago can make a city boy out of me, Ray, I think we can make a survivor out of you. Besides, I personally think you've already shown a great deal of promise. For one thing you don't need my help to get in and out of your snowsuit, and you can drive the dogsled entirely on your own.
[ He ducked back slowly, shot down the rest of his champagne and climbed up off the bed, reaching out for Ray's hand. He was feeling warm all the way through. Warm and happy, on top of the world in fact. This was what he wanted. Ray was going to come back to Canada with him, and all he'd wanted was Fraser's confirmation that it really was okay. It was. It so was.
Ray was coming back with him. He couldn't look happier if two meters of snow shut down central Chicago. ]
Come on, let's get down to the party. I feel like celebrating. Maybe even dancing.
no subject
He licked his lips again, then ducked his head forward, finding Ray's gaze, because his partner was no longer looking at him any more. Maybe he was afraid, or ashamed, Fraser didn't know, but it seemed to him that Ray was like the child who wanted to go to Disneyworld who'd said their piece and was now pretending that it was less of a big deal than he was making out for it to be.
But it was a big deal. It was everything Fraser had wanted since they'd slept on that cliffside together. Which was insane, because Ray had almost died, but...but it had somehow felt right. Survival and fear and them against the world. That was what he wanted. It was the only way to live. And yes, it was possible to have that in Chicago, but...but Ray loved it too. Ray loved climbing mountains, and Ray loved coming back down them again. He loved the dogsled, which was like driving a car with thirty two wheels, and he loved the snowmobile, which was like a motorbike that occasionally went sidewards.
Ray loved the north, with all its lifethreatening horrors. He loved it because of them, or despite them, Fraser didn't know, and maybe that was what drew Fraser to Ray himself--love me, love my wilderness.
He raised his hand from Ray's knee, but only to pat it once, holding it down again. ]
If Chicago can make a city boy out of me, Ray, I think we can make a survivor out of you. Besides, I personally think you've already shown a great deal of promise. For one thing you don't need my help to get in and out of your snowsuit, and you can drive the dogsled entirely on your own.
[ He ducked back slowly, shot down the rest of his champagne and climbed up off the bed, reaching out for Ray's hand. He was feeling warm all the way through. Warm and happy, on top of the world in fact. This was what he wanted. Ray was going to come back to Canada with him, and all he'd wanted was Fraser's confirmation that it really was okay. It was. It so was.
Ray was coming back with him. He couldn't look happier if two meters of snow shut down central Chicago. ]
Come on, let's get down to the party. I feel like celebrating. Maybe even dancing.