[ This was everything good about the world. The soft music broke the necessity for words, prevented the awkwardness of wet kissing noises from seeming too jarring, and better still Ray curled tenderly against him reciprocating that closeness, the steady speed and slow kisses. It reminded Fraser, too, of being a very young man, of learning to kiss with whomsoever would have him in those brief months before reprimand made them something forbidden and adult.
It bore no resemblance, either, to the nights he'd spent curled into Victoria, making love so slowly and for so long that he'd slept most of the day away. This was the first time he'd been denied by a snowstorm; exploration and love, passion and longing, a partnership expanded to know more rather than two bodies sliding into each other for warmth.
When Ray pulled back away from the kiss, it was only the barest space, so that Fraser could still feel his breath against his mouth. He let himself capture that space again briefly, a kiss of reassurance as he thought of the words that could best answer the question. He only needed a second. ]
If he'd wanted it, I might have, for the sake of our partnership. I might have even adjusted to our being more than friends. [ He rubbed a circle against Ray's sternum as he spoke. ] But Ray was never anything but meticulously straight, and quite besides that, Ray, not at all my type, as difficult as that might be to believe.
[ He reaches his hand higher brushing just the tips of his fingers over Ray's moist lower lip, and then he closed the distance again, kissed his mouth over his fingers, broke it again. ]
He's irritating, uncompromising, occasionally selfish, often arrogant, ceaselessly unwilling. I love him dearly, he's saved our lives more times than I can count, and he's nothing if not my best friend - reason enough to forgive him his flaws - but he's not you. Our relationship is incomparable to what we have.
[ He left the kiss where it was. When Ray was ready, he could take it over again, but Fraser felt like he needed to leave him a chance to absorb that. ]
Maybe other people made you feel that way. Maybe he did. [ He murmured softly. ] Maybe once upon a time I might have too, but it was never a competition between the two of you. Even if it was, look at what you have, Ray. You won. You have friends and you have me, and somewhere along the way you won back your self respect, and your passion for what you do. You'd almost lost that when we first met.
I am so proud of you Ray, and so very, very much in love with you.
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It bore no resemblance, either, to the nights he'd spent curled into Victoria, making love so slowly and for so long that he'd slept most of the day away. This was the first time he'd been denied by a snowstorm; exploration and love, passion and longing, a partnership expanded to know more rather than two bodies sliding into each other for warmth.
When Ray pulled back away from the kiss, it was only the barest space, so that Fraser could still feel his breath against his mouth. He let himself capture that space again briefly, a kiss of reassurance as he thought of the words that could best answer the question. He only needed a second. ]
If he'd wanted it, I might have, for the sake of our partnership. I might have even adjusted to our being more than friends. [ He rubbed a circle against Ray's sternum as he spoke. ] But Ray was never anything but meticulously straight, and quite besides that, Ray, not at all my type, as difficult as that might be to believe.
[ He reaches his hand higher brushing just the tips of his fingers over Ray's moist lower lip, and then he closed the distance again, kissed his mouth over his fingers, broke it again. ]
He's irritating, uncompromising, occasionally selfish, often arrogant, ceaselessly unwilling. I love him dearly, he's saved our lives more times than I can count, and he's nothing if not my best friend - reason enough to forgive him his flaws - but he's not you. Our relationship is incomparable to what we have.
[ He left the kiss where it was. When Ray was ready, he could take it over again, but Fraser felt like he needed to leave him a chance to absorb that. ]
Maybe other people made you feel that way. Maybe he did. [ He murmured softly. ] Maybe once upon a time I might have too, but it was never a competition between the two of you. Even if it was, look at what you have, Ray. You won. You have friends and you have me, and somewhere along the way you won back your self respect, and your passion for what you do. You'd almost lost that when we first met.
I am so proud of you Ray, and so very, very much in love with you.