[ He understands. He'd understood what they were playing for when this began, even if he'd been unprepared to admit his commitment to it, but shortly thereafter he'd put his head down, determined to take what he could get. Having Ray give himself like this is more than what he wanted, but he understands it when it comes, accepts it in close against his heart.
Any question of things being difficult subside at once, like a sandcastle collapsing under a wave; Fraser already knew how he expected things to be come morning, how they'd wake up sprawled on the floor or the couch, how the buzz of affection would still hum on his skin. They'd go for coffee, drive to the station, work on this case together. Nothing would change, except for the warmth in their occasional, professional glances. And of course, hopefully, the sex.
Because he was really enjoying that aspect so far. Fraser gave himself fully, emotionally and physically. He'd been burned before. But not every person he let himself love was going to betray or try to kill him. And if he could trust anyone not to do either of those things (or at least not to mean it if he did), it would be his partner; his friend; the man in whose hands he lay his life every day.
When the order came, the kiss broken, his mouth freshly bruised from the unrepentant assault, Fraser was silent. His assent came in the form of action; Fraser turned over on the spot in a single heft, then drew himself up onto his forearms and knees, careful to spread his weight so that if Ray leaned his own against him it would be a little less comfortable than their previous position. Almost the moment he was there, anticipation burst in his chest like bubbles in champagne, so palpable that he felt them tickle the back of his throat. He waited. ]
no subject
Any question of things being difficult subside at once, like a sandcastle collapsing under a wave; Fraser already knew how he expected things to be come morning, how they'd wake up sprawled on the floor or the couch, how the buzz of affection would still hum on his skin. They'd go for coffee, drive to the station, work on this case together. Nothing would change, except for the warmth in their occasional, professional glances. And of course, hopefully, the sex.
Because he was really enjoying that aspect so far. Fraser gave himself fully, emotionally and physically. He'd been burned before. But not every person he let himself love was going to betray or try to kill him. And if he could trust anyone not to do either of those things (or at least not to mean it if he did), it would be his partner; his friend; the man in whose hands he lay his life every day.
When the order came, the kiss broken, his mouth freshly bruised from the unrepentant assault, Fraser was silent. His assent came in the form of action; Fraser turned over on the spot in a single heft, then drew himself up onto his forearms and knees, careful to spread his weight so that if Ray leaned his own against him it would be a little less comfortable than their previous position. Almost the moment he was there, anticipation burst in his chest like bubbles in champagne, so palpable that he felt them tickle the back of his throat. He waited. ]