[ He didn't know why he'd expected anything more fluent out of him, and for once Fraser resisted the urge to say "No, I don't know". It wasn't fair - not close - when it was clear enough to both of them what 'stuff' entailed. He wouldn't burden Ray with that--not when it had been Fraser who'd made the first move. Not when it was Fraser's enduring plan that had brought them to this point. And if he could find it in him to press Ray down and kiss him in the middle of a strategy meeting then he could damn well find it in him to talk. It wasn't on Ray, wasn't his responsibility.
Fraser licked his lips before he spoke, and only for the first two words did he actually meet Ray's frantic gaze. ]
I know.
[ Deep breath. Okay, he could articulate this. He could be fluent. He could-- ] I've been thinking about what it would feel like to make love to you. Right now, right here in this room. I think I wouldn't care if the entire 2-7 was on the other side of the window watching.
[ Because the answer to 'Are we cool' couldn't just be 'We're cool.' This was Fraser. ]
When we first met - the very second time we worked together - you asked me if I found you attractive. I--I admit the question caught me rather off guard. It wasn't simple, it was a question of many layers. Women have asked it of me before, but of course their queries were always related to the attractiveness of their form and adornments, which of course I always endeavoured to see through, with great difficulty under many such circumstances as I knew them very little. In you I know the question enveloped that layer and more. You were asking me if a woman should find you attractive, and I took in your layers; an honest career with both risk and prospects; personality traits including such fine attributes as courage, cunning, perseverance, bravery, honor and loyalty; excellent teeth, dense muscular structure and a strong jaw. And the--your physical beauty, the unusual shade of your eyes, the tiny smile you hoped I wouldn't see when you were trying not to laugh at me. I thought about you jumping in front of a bullet meant for me without hesitation, and laughing it off only half a minute later, and the way you jitter when you're nervous, like a June bug held in the palms of your hands. I found you attractive, Ray, and I told you so.
[ He raised his hand, to make sure Ray didn't interrupt him, and at last looked at his partner across the table. Fraser was trembling with emotion. ]
I set my feelings aside. Occasionally they'd resurface at the most inopportune moments. I'd find myself thinking about how it would feel to kiss you. I'd catalogue such thoughts with the others and forget about them. I'm ashamed to say I collected quite a library. [ Sure, Fraser would use a library as an analogue for his emotions. ] If you're willing to, I'd like to be able to withdraw those books together, but they can just as easily stay where they are. Either way--
[ And now he stuttered, hesitating. He was terrified that Ray would say 'No'. ]
Either way, our working relationship will most certainly have to adapt. For one thing, neither of us would get any work done if we stopped to indulge every one of my fantasies. If it's what you want, then when this case is over I can...I can lock the door.
no subject
Fraser licked his lips before he spoke, and only for the first two words did he actually meet Ray's frantic gaze. ]
I know.
[ Deep breath. Okay, he could articulate this. He could be fluent. He could-- ] I've been thinking about what it would feel like to make love to you. Right now, right here in this room. I think I wouldn't care if the entire 2-7 was on the other side of the window watching.
[ Because the answer to 'Are we cool' couldn't just be 'We're cool.' This was Fraser. ]
When we first met - the very second time we worked together - you asked me if I found you attractive. I--I admit the question caught me rather off guard. It wasn't simple, it was a question of many layers. Women have asked it of me before, but of course their queries were always related to the attractiveness of their form and adornments, which of course I always endeavoured to see through, with great difficulty under many such circumstances as I knew them very little. In you I know the question enveloped that layer and more. You were asking me if a woman should find you attractive, and I took in your layers; an honest career with both risk and prospects; personality traits including such fine attributes as courage, cunning, perseverance, bravery, honor and loyalty; excellent teeth, dense muscular structure and a strong jaw. And the--your physical beauty, the unusual shade of your eyes, the tiny smile you hoped I wouldn't see when you were trying not to laugh at me. I thought about you jumping in front of a bullet meant for me without hesitation, and laughing it off only half a minute later, and the way you jitter when you're nervous, like a June bug held in the palms of your hands. I found you attractive, Ray, and I told you so.
[ He raised his hand, to make sure Ray didn't interrupt him, and at last looked at his partner across the table. Fraser was trembling with emotion. ]
I set my feelings aside. Occasionally they'd resurface at the most inopportune moments. I'd find myself thinking about how it would feel to kiss you. I'd catalogue such thoughts with the others and forget about them. I'm ashamed to say I collected quite a library. [ Sure, Fraser would use a library as an analogue for his emotions. ] If you're willing to, I'd like to be able to withdraw those books together, but they can just as easily stay where they are. Either way--
[ And now he stuttered, hesitating. He was terrified that Ray would say 'No'. ]
Either way, our working relationship will most certainly have to adapt. For one thing, neither of us would get any work done if we stopped to indulge every one of my fantasies. If it's what you want, then when this case is over I can...I can lock the door.