[ For all of a couple of seconds, it feels wonderful, and maybe he just likes kissing, but Ray's mouth is as soft and wonderful as he thought it might be - maybe a little edged in bristles, but he'd kissed more bristly women - and even though all he gets in response is that sort of paralyzed shock, it's nice--
For a second or two.
Then there's a meter between the two of them, and Ray's hand had shoved a bruise against his chest. And now here he is, still thinking about Ray's mouth, and oh, that has to be it, because here he is thinking about this guy's mouth and obviously Ray doesn't want to have anything to do with it. His memories of Ellen and Geoffrey tell the same kind of story: unrequited love.
This is definitely it, because there's no way Ray's interested. He's not angry, but that's somehow even worse, like Ray's just being logical about it. It's not cool. It's abnormal.
Geoffrey raised his hand to his mouth, pressing his palm to his lips and closing his eyes. If he just concentrated hard enough he could feel Ray's mouth against his own again. He needed to focus on the feeling, to form it into a shape and somehow keep it that way, because if it really was the answer to unlocking his memories then it had to feel real.
He squeezed his eyes shut until it hurt, focusing on the name, everything he'd been told, the feeling of desolating rejection that he knew so very well, loneliness...
Nothing.
He dropped his hand and hung his head backward, staring up at the blank ceiling helplessly. ]
You know, Ray, that's probably what it is. And it's not your fault. I clearly have a problem.
[ He sighed, at last, and rolled himself forward, pulling himself up off the bed. He didn't look back at Ray; his eyes were on the door. ]
I'm...I think I probably have feelings for you, and that perhaps to deal with those feelings I've very nearly, quite possibly lost my mind. I'm hoping that perhaps simply knowing will help me to get my memories back, but I'm not holding out a great deal of it.
[ He blinked back toward Ray, his expression sad. ]
Do you think that's possible? I mean...put aside your feelings for a moment. Do you think it's possible that I might...that I could love you?
no subject
For a second or two.
Then there's a meter between the two of them, and Ray's hand had shoved a bruise against his chest. And now here he is, still thinking about Ray's mouth, and oh, that has to be it, because here he is thinking about this guy's mouth and obviously Ray doesn't want to have anything to do with it. His memories of Ellen and Geoffrey tell the same kind of story: unrequited love.
This is definitely it, because there's no way Ray's interested. He's not angry, but that's somehow even worse, like Ray's just being logical about it. It's not cool. It's abnormal.
Geoffrey raised his hand to his mouth, pressing his palm to his lips and closing his eyes. If he just concentrated hard enough he could feel Ray's mouth against his own again. He needed to focus on the feeling, to form it into a shape and somehow keep it that way, because if it really was the answer to unlocking his memories then it had to feel real.
He squeezed his eyes shut until it hurt, focusing on the name, everything he'd been told, the feeling of desolating rejection that he knew so very well, loneliness...
Nothing.
He dropped his hand and hung his head backward, staring up at the blank ceiling helplessly. ]
You know, Ray, that's probably what it is. And it's not your fault. I clearly have a problem.
[ He sighed, at last, and rolled himself forward, pulling himself up off the bed. He didn't look back at Ray; his eyes were on the door. ]
I'm...I think I probably have feelings for you, and that perhaps to deal with those feelings I've very nearly, quite possibly lost my mind. I'm hoping that perhaps simply knowing will help me to get my memories back, but I'm not holding out a great deal of it.
[ He blinked back toward Ray, his expression sad. ]
Do you think that's possible? I mean...put aside your feelings for a moment. Do you think it's possible that I might...that I could love you?