thelockbox | Benton Fraser

[ It helps that it's a lot warmer now than it was when Benton let the north in. He catches the brown paper bag, and carefully opens it out on the snow between them, taking out his own piece of caribou jerky. ]

If you say so, Ray.

[ To be fair Francine's cookies would probably taste better after three weeks in the arctic circle. Instead of dwelling on it he chows down on his protein dinner, musing distantly over the fact that the dogs are eating a similar meal out in the snow.

And speaking of fur coats. ]

If I may be so bold, Ray, it may be time to remove your clothes.

[Virtually anything would taste better after three weeks in the Arctic circle, such as dried meat which Ray is somehow willingly eating right now. Give some of that to him back at Chicago and he'd have been sneering his nose at the very sight of it.

He finishes off the strip he's got quickly, choking on the last mouthful all thanks to Fraser and his odd requests.

Where does he even come up with these things?]

I'm not removin' my clothes, Fraser.

Y'can have yer coat back.

[ He is eating very patiently and nicely and not choking on it at all by the time Ray manages to breathe enough to respond. He looks unflustered, as though he didn't just ask something completely unreasonable.

Even if, as usual, it's just his terrible choice in words.

...The problem is it's a premise to even worse words. ]

That would be inadvisable, Ray. [ Holding the stick of jerky in his mouth for a moment, Fraser brings his hands up to loosen the top buttons of his jacket, giving himself a little space. ] You see, it's about to get very hot in here, and besides the obvious risk of dehydration, it would be unfortunate if you were to soil your clothing.

Dried sweat can be quite uncomfortable, Ray. I'd hate for you to have to suffer unnecessarily.

[Much worse. To the extent Ray isn't even sure what's happening any more. No change there though.

Is "it's about to get very hot in here" some sort of foreshadowing? What's Ray even meant to take from this advice?

In contradiction to the request and some confusion, Ray tugs the blankets around him just a little tighter.]

Look, Fraser, we're buddies, yeah? I can deal with sharin' sleepin' bags and food and and and the uh, even the occasional 'body warmth' thingamajig, but y'gotta warn me about stuff like this. It's survival, I get it. But turnin' up the heat? Hot and steamy. That's uh, that's... I gotta think, y'know?

[ The rest of the polished, pristine buttons of his jacket are undone. Then Fraser takes the jerky out of his mouth, holding it in the thumbs and forefingers of both hands as he appraises his friend. Ray snuggling deeper into the blankets wasn't exactly the plan.

Ray obviously gets it. It's going to get hot. He doesn't understand what the problem is, here. ]

I'm not sure what there is to think about, Ray. This is no time to be apprehensive.

[ Might as well go get the spade, they're going to keep digging for a while. ]

[There's just staring from Ray. Lots of staring with his jaw slack and mouth slightly open. That vacant look he gets when he's trying to process something just slightly beyond his reasoning.

This must be a Canadian thing. Surely it's a Canadian thing.

But Fraser's stripping off and he's trying to get Ray stripping off and... and...]

Alright.

[Finally he concedes with a shrug, shrugging off Fraser's coat and mass of blankets with some reluctance while he moves to undo his leather jacket and zipped hoody beneath.]

[ Well that was easy. He refrains from saying as much out loud, but it's a close thing, and in the meantime Fraser snaps his piece of jerky in half and sets about chewing at it. He watches Ray free himself from the blankets without saying a word himself, or otherwise getting back into the way of continuing to undress.

Meanwhile the wet wood in the fire has reached the point where it's begun to actually combust, and the heat being produced has brought the temperature up by several degrees already.

Just a misunderstanding. But it might look like he's staring, since...well, since there's nowhere else to look. ]

[If there's one thing that Ray's learnt while he's been out in the middle of no where with Fraser, it's that the Mountie usually knows what he's talking about in these situations. Ray's stubbornness and general argumentative approach to things had left him in some uncomfortable situations lately and he sure doesn't like the sound of uncomfortable clothing. Especially not when he has to keep living in them.

And at the rate Ray's going, he's apparently going to take the stripping very literally down to the last garment. Well, the t-shirts coming off anyway, all wiry, pale limbs and that Spark Plug tattoo.]

Yer not gonna make me roll in the snow or anythin', right? I saw that on some show once and it did not look any fun. I mean that is a sure fire way to turn your dick into a shrinky dink, y'know what I'm sayin'?

Actually Ray, rolling in the snow would be an excellent way of lifting the perspiration from your skin.

[ Rolling in the snow naked could save Ray's life. But it's maybe less necessary right now, which is why it's puzzling Fraser that ray is down to shirtless already. He pauses in his chewing, lowers his hand slightly, swallows maybe a little too hard. ]

Ah... Ah, Ray?

[ What does he even say to that? ]

[Just eye rolling at the explanation. He'd really rather not try out that way of washing right now, which would be why he's choosing to ignore Fraser as he tosses his t-shirt aside.

And then he's working at his jeans, popping open the button and working with the zipper, leaning back in an attempt to squirm out of them. He does, however, stop halfway to snap out an exasperated:]

What?

[ Three straight blinks. Another swallow, and this is the moment. This is really the moment where Fraser should step in and correct the misunderstanding. But...

But he still doesn't realize it's his fault. In fact he's suddenly convinced that Ray is stripping all the way intentionally, and perhaps he knows what he's doing. Because he knows that tone. That tone is you'd better have a damn good reason for interrupting me right now, and most of the time it's usually just better to back off.

Sometimes even if there is a good reason. ]

Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable, Ray, if I were to avert my gaze?

[Ray's not even sure what's going on, but Fraser said to remove his clothes so he's removing his clothes. He sees no problem with this except... except Fraser's tone is suddenly making Ray question himself.

It's like the Mountie can't make up his mind.

No matter. Ray's using his stubborn indifference to push through it. He's not going to admit he's in the wrong here, thank you very much, he's just doing what he's told.]

Sure. Whatever.

[Just gonna keep squirming out of his jeans.]

Jeez, Fraser. It is not that warm in here.

[ And he averts his gaze as allowed, raising his eyes up toward the blank canvas wall of the tent and coughing low in his throat. He almost coughs over Ray's comment, but suddenly he's looking back, just a little more quizzically this time. ]

Ah... Well actually, Ray...

[ No, he's not going to get away with backing out this time. And he's staring because there is nothing attractive about Ray trapped halfway out of his pants. It doesn't get more awkward than that. ]

When I suggested taking off your clothes, this isn't precisely what I had in mind.

[It doesn't get more awkward or totally uncoordinated as this, especially considering the kicking legs and wriggling around in the limited space and Ray's reluctance to stand up.

At least he's sort of stopped for now.]

Fraser! You say take off my clothes and I take off my clothes. You say it's gonna get all hot and steamy, y'know, and I dunno what I'm meant to think. Now I'm gettin' cold and you're saying don't take off my clothes, but I already got my clothes off and... and...

[ There are obviously two important things about this that need to be addressed: one, Ray is going to get cold very quickly with his butt on nothing but the groundsheet. Two: ]

What you were meant to think? I'm not certain I could have been any clearer with my intentions, Ray.

If I may--

[ Because obviously as bad as he's already made it he can always make it worse. He slid away from his perch on the back of a cooking pot to approach Ray, gingerly kneeling near his feet in order to get a firm grip of his jeans. They're halfway off anyway, and in his current predicament Ray is going to knock the tent over getting upright. He's just one of those people who grew up and never got used to having longer limbs--it can't be helped. But the last thing they need is Ray accidentally burning the tent to the ground; he'd never live that one down. ]

Oh, sure. Sure. Clear intentions.

[He wants to argue just how unclear every bit of this is, but he's certain no amount of explaining will get Fraser understanding the way Ray's mind works. For friends that interact quite so well with one another, they sure can be on totally different wavelengths. Sure, Ray's slowly learning Fraser's crazy Canadian and logical ways, and Benton's caught on to much of Kowalski's in-your-face instincts, but nothing is ever simple with these two.

And if Ray was confused by Fraser's intentions before, they're certainly not becoming any clearer as the Mountie gets nearer and takes hold of his jeans. He lays there for a moment, brows furrowing as he stares incredulously, then suddenly breaks out into another burst of squirming.]

I don't need help undressin', Fraser. I do not.

[ Fraser pauses to look exasperated, staring up at the other man for all of a second and a half before dropping his eyes back down to Ray's knees. He almost tuts. ]

I beg to differ. If you continue with your current rate of progress--well, I imagine the shrinking effect you mentioned may indeed come into play.

[ Helpful, Fraser. Really helpful. But despite Ray's squirming he's got him right where he wants him, and with one hard pull he's relieved of his burden. Which is only step one of getting him warm again but one thing at a time. ]

You're welcome, Ray.

[It's almost impressive how easy that is for Fraser. Almost. But Ray's not even surprised any more at the talents of Benton. Not that tugging the jeans off a constantly moving detective is exactly a talent.]

Hardeharhar. There is nothin' shrinkin' in my dinkin'.

[Just totally ignoring the 'you're welcome'. Too busy sulking over shrinking jokes and getting aid when he didn't ask for it. And maybe just a little distracted at Benton looming quite so close while he's sitting here in his boxers.]

[ It's probably in the duty record he presented during his transfer anyway. It's got to be a practiced skill: ability to undress squirming Americans 101.

Oh, and he's not gone yet. In fact he might just glance down, then back up. In the worst way possible. Punctuated by an eyebrow raise; the worst eyebrow raise in their long and storied history. And then finally embellished with the worst phrase that could be said after glancing up and down and making an eyebrow raise and opening his Mountie mouth at all: ]

Yes, I can see that.

[What?

Is he looking at... yes.

And commenting on it too?

Maybe Ray's become a bad influence on him. Almost proud to be honest. Except he's not sure what he should be right now when he's sitting in his underpants being eyed up by a Mountie.]

Heh.

Yeah.

Uh. Fraser?

[Be prepared for the most heartfelt declaration of feelings and physical yearnings-- wait no, never mind.]

I'm freezin' my ass off here. [Literally.]

Edited 2014-07-09 03:53 (UTC)

[ And this is where the Mountie finally catches up to what he's doing and gets flustered about it, like that moment on the train with the hairpin... ]

Your ass. Yes of course, freezing your ass off.

[ But in any case, he's now flustered, and blushing, and stands up so suddenly he knocks his head on the top bar of the tent and makes the entire thing jump. The firebox rattles in its holding, threatening to tip over, but stays put by the skin of its teeth, and Fraser dips his head low again. ]

My apologies. Ah-- I mean...

[ He turns on the spot, knocking his cooking pot over with a clang and a clatter, then bends over away from Ray to fuss with the blankets and clothes before clumsily turning again on the spot, knocking the lantern (thankfully not lit) onto the pile of blankets and generally just making a fool of himself. ]

Perhaps if you were to come over here.

[Watching Fraser when he gets like this is sort of like watching a train wreck; it's impossible not to stare. There's not only the satisfaction in watching the straight laced Mountie become a stumbling, mumbling mess, but there's the added bonus that for once it's not Ray making a fool of himself.

With everything rattling and falling, Ray opts for just sitting still and hoping for the best, still staring at the Mountie train wreck with a distant sort of amusement.

He only moves when beckoned, crawling over to the pile, shoving the lantern aside and dropping down heavily. At least now he's got some insulation between his ass and Canada. He could just put his pants back on but...]

Thanks.

[An actual display of gratitude. Maybe he's taking pity after Benton's ridiculous display.]

Hey. Sit before anythin' else goes flyin'.

I--yes, of course, Ray.

[ Sitting was actually a pretty good idea. The mess he'd made of the tent, things knocked in every direction, had been what he'd been intending to prevent in the first place, but at the very least he hadn't sent the firebox spilling onto the canvas. Yet that could still happen if he wasn't careful, and sitting...yes, sitting was a good idea.

But now he was hot, thanks to the flailing and embarrassment, and Fraser paused long enough to lift his own open jacket from his shoulders before carefully dropping down on the bed of furs and blankets. A few things kept swaying, but nothing else fell. ]

Well--now I just feel foolish.

[Well, that was some entertainment for an otherwise uneventful day. He's even grinning at the whole thing.

As Fraser moves to sit, Ray shifts over, giving him space on the pile to calm himself down. Sometimes he forgets how big the Mountie is until confined to small spaces like canvas tents.]

Makes a difference. [Usually Ray's feeling like the dumb ass.]

Hey, uh. Fraser?

[ It's actually a relief to see Ray grinning; almost worth the whole thing, in fact. If he could have planned it to go down this way he would have, after all if it's done one thing for certain it's distracted Ray from how cold, uncomfortable, hungry, tired etc. he is.

And even if it's just for two minutes, distraction is always a good thing, especially out here. Well, apart from when life threatening circumstances make it imperative to pay attention. He licked his lips nervously, and looked back toward his friend.

Incidentally it's his turn to say: ] What?

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